I also remember my grandmother’s piano and playing on the keys with such passion, that one might mistake me for a proficient player. I didn’t know how to play or read music, nonetheless, with the hymn book in front of me, and singing my heart out, I pretended to play. After playing several hymns, I would read from a Bible that rested on an antique bookstand near the piano. I did not realize it at the time, but the Lord was nurturing in me a heart for worship, and a desire to teach His Word. A young girl growing up in the nineteen-seventies did not aspire to be a minister; however, God’s thoughts are not our thoughts (see Is. 55:8).
When I was six I stretched out on the lush, green grass of the church around the corner, and prayed to God in harmony with the ringing church bells; I want to know you, whatever you want to do with my life, I will follow. I had many talks with the Lord on the lawn of that church; those prayers would prove pivotal to my life.
Christ remained an intricate part of my life growing up. I attended private school, and was confirmed at fourteen. I studied diligently; memorizing Scripture and my catechism. I joyfully performed my acolyte duties, and took my position seriously. Confirmation was a crucial period, and laid a foundation for my life in the Word, and in ministry. My pursuit of God may seem simply liturgical, but this liturgy developed in me a heart for worship, and a desire to serve the Lord.
My teenage and young adult years proved challenging. Unfortunately, I strayed from the path and lived outside of God’s will for my life. I would come home from nights of carousing, and cry out to God with my Bible clenched to my chest; God, don’t give up on me, don’t let me go. Though I strayed from His path, and was running from His will, He relentlessly chased me.
One night the evening of festivities broke me. I walked into my bedroom, and Jesus was waiting for me. I fell on my knees and cried out to God; I could not continue living that way anymore. I repented, wept, and surrendered all to Him; Christ captured me forever. That was twenty-five years ago; I have not relented in my pursuit of Him.
The grace and mercy that the Lord has rained down on my life has captured my heart. How can I not pursue Him? How can I refuse Him? God’s heart beats for me; mine must beat for Him. I pursue Him every day of my life. I want to know Him and experience Him deeper than ever before:
God is chasing after you. You only need to cry out to Him and He will answer. Reach out to Him and He will rescue you. His heart beats for all people and He will not rest until He captures your heart.
In His Grace,
JJ Jesu Jura: Jesus Help
SDG Soli Deo Gloria: To God be the glory!